You can find here a lot of hot and sexy SMS jokes. So be cool and enjoy the Hotness of these SMS Jokes.

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What does Bra means ?

Ans : Boobs Resting in Air.

*************End Of This Joke***********************

Bhaiya

ANOTHER DEFINITION OF BHAIYA

B- BADA

H- HANDSOM

A- AUR

I- INTELLIGENT

Y- YAAR

A- APNA

*************End Of This Joke***********************

Uska Badan

Badan uska silky ho,

Breast uski milky ho,

Dekhne me chikni ho,

Pehni usne bikini ho,

Neche uske chimney ho....

Lamba apna danda ho,

Usme jaake thanda ho.

*************End Of This Joke***********************

Bullocks

Wife said to husband: Bullocks could f~ck 3000 times per year why dont u,

Husband: Ask them whether it is on a same cow?

4 Letter Word

what 4 letter word starts with f and ends with k

and if a man can't get it he uses his hands?

>>>fork<<<

Famous Actress

A very famous actress with the reputation of a steamy sex life finally died....

"At last theyre finally together" one mourners said...

"You mean with her husband?"

"No,I mean her legs" came the reply.

*************End Of This Joke***********************

Age Factor

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,

at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,

at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,

at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other

Anaesthetist

A callgirl had sex with a doctor.

After climax,

She asks : ''R u an ANAESTHETIST?''

Doctor : ''Ya!,How did u know?''

Callgirl : ''Kab dala kab nikala, pata hi nahi chala.''

Arz hai.....

Dhire se thoko sanam
mehangi ka zamana hai.........

6 inch ke item ko
zindagi bher chalana hai.........

Aurat ki kamar

Ya khuda tune Aurat ke kamar
itni pattli kyoun banai hey
yeh tere berukhi hey ya tere bewafai hey

Khuda: na mere berukhi hey,
na meri bewafai hey
uski kamar say kuch mitti
lekar uske seene pe lagai hey.

Baa Baa black dick
have you any sperm?
Yes mam,yes mam two balls firm,
None for my gal frnd n none for my ex
but all for the horny girl
reading this text !!

A body was found with no brain and a small penis...

Text message me back to let me know your ok.



*************End Of This Joke***********************

Bush got a coded message from Osama.It read:

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was stumped.He called the CIA & they cracked the code by reading it upside down.

Guess what they decoded    "HELL0 ASSH0LE"

What's the height of conceit?

Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

A Crowded Bus


Man - Madam aapke santare dab rahe hai jara peche raho.

Madam - Mere santare dab rahe apko kya.

Man - Apko kuch nahin par mera to ras nikal raha hai!!!!

Q. Why is a cow always sad?

A. How would u feel if some one wakes you up
very early in the morning to rub your
tits for 2 hours and not Fu*k U!!

*************End Of This Joke***********************

days with gals

1st = luv me,don’t touch me,

2nd = touch me, don’t kiss me,

3rd = kiss me, don’t fu*k me,

4th = fu*k me, don’t forget me,

5th = forget me,don’t tell anyone.


*************End Of This Joke***********************

A Dentist was removing a tooth of a lady,
he said ,"mam u r holding my balls".

she said," I know,
its just to remind u that we r not going 2 hurt each other".

Dosti

Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri ho,

Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,

Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,

Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho !!.


*************End Of This Joke***********************

Dry day

Wife : you call me PARI after Drining desi and DARLING after English.

What happened today that you are Calling me CHUDAIL?

Husband : Today is Dry day.i

FAT

Q- HOW CAN U MAKE 5 POUND OF FAT LOOK GUD?

A- JUST ADD NIPPLES TO IT.

Q: Height Of Fashion?

Ans: lipstick on Vertical Lips


*************End Of This Joke***********************

A Girl Life


Jab Tere Chiku The,

Sab Tere Pichu The.

Jab Tere Amm Huye Kayi Badman Hue,

Jab Tere Kharbuje Hue Bade Ajube Hue,

JAb Tere Jhul Gaye,

Sab Tujhe Bhul Gaye....

Girl Friend

Girl Friend K Sath Kamre k Andar,

Table k uper, Batti k Niche,

De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....

De Tacatac.... Le Tacatac....

Stupid I Am Playing Table Tennis

Golf Course

Most difficult GOLF COURSE on this world?

''WOMEN''!

No matter how many strokes or what style u play,ur balls will never go in......

Gujju Premi
Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,

kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!

Premika: DHOKLA.i



*************End Of This Joke***********************

Q-Who is the worlds best goalkeeper ?
A-A woman
Q-why ?
A-Because, whichever way you fu*k her,
the balls just wont go in.


*************End Of This Joke***********************

Harbhajan Singh gets married.

During suhag raat

he asks his wife " r u a virgin ?"

she replies " kar di na sardaron wali baat,

Spinner ko kabhi nayi ball mili hai ...

Heaven

Heaven is when U have a German car,

American salary,

Chinese food & Indian wife.

Hell is when car is Chinese,

food is German,

wife is American and salary Indian.!!!

Heaven

Heaven is when U have a German car,

American salary,

Chinese food & Indian wife.

Hell is when car is Chinese,

food is German,

wife is American and salary Indian.!!!

WHAT IS KISS ?

ANS.     VERY SIMPLE ITSS AN INQUIRY IN THE TOP FLOOR

ABOUT THE VACANCY IN GROUND FLOOR....

Karo Na

"Ek baar karo na, karo plz. Kisi ko pata nahi chalega, plz karo na, mujhe aacha lagega. Ek baar hamare pyar ki khatir kar do, sirf ek pyara sa SMS."

Kitna Mushkil hai

pehle hath me lo. fir sidha karo...

fir muh me lo... aur thook lagao...

aur andar gusao..

KITNA MUSHKIL HAI NA!

SUI MEIN DHAGA DALNA *

Q: What is the secret of long life?

A: Morning 2 eggs,evening 2 pegs and night 2 legs!

Son asks his Dad diff btwn
LOVE, BELIEF & RELIEF.

Father says:
Yr Mom is my LOVE.
Your maid is my RELIEF
& I'm your Dad - well,that's my BELIEF.

Mandir
ek mandir mein jo buri nazar vala jayega

vo gayab ho jayega ,

shakti kapoor gayab ,

prem chopra gayab ,

musharaf gayab ,

bipasha gayi toh bhagwan gayab

Man n Monkey

What Is comman Between Man And Monkey???

Monkey Dal Par Uchalta hai and
Man Dal Kar Uchalta Hai.


*************End Of This Joke***********************

Mobile

What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

""Kash thode din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!""

Nipple Nipple dont be far

Let me press u in my car

up above the chest so high

always milky never dry

let me suck u dont feel shy

in the brassieres u will die

At Night

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,

BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!

Newton's 6th Law

Whenever a whole meets a pole,

It creates either a hole or a pole !!

Newton's 4th law

Newton's 4th law : "To and fro motion gives hand full of white lotion".

NEWTONS'S 5th LAW

Length of the pole is directly proportional to depth of the hole.

What is common between Moov cream and a penis?

Dono gehraai tak jaaye, garmahat laaye, aaram dilaaye.
"Aahhh se A-haaaa tak"..

Sex Object

SANTA:What do you think of women?

BANTA:They are all sex objects....

SANTA:Why?

BANTA:When I ask them for sex,

they object !!

Oral sex

John asks his grandpa:"Do you still have sex with granny?"

Grandpa:"Yes,but only oral."

John says:"What is oral?"

Grandpa:"I say F~ck you,and she says:F~ck you 2.".


*************End Of This Joke***********************

Him : y can't I tell whn u hv an orgasm ?

Her : Cos u r never home when it happens !

He : Andar Gaya?
She : Ha.. Gaya.
He : Dukha Kya?
She : Zara bhi nahi.
He : Aur Ek Baar?
She : Ab isme Daalo.
He : Achha laga?
She : Haa..Bahoot. . . .
He : OK.MADAM KA SANDLE PACK KARO....

Heights Of Patriotism :

U sitting on an English toilet

in Indian style.

Pehle Usne

Pehle usne utari saree phir ayee peticoat ki bari, phir diya blouse utaar. Zyada kush mat ho yaar, woh thi kapde sukhane ki taar.

Husband : shall we try a different position tonight ?

Wife : That's a good idea.....

you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

-: During pregnancy :-


During pregnancy,1st three months fuck normal style,

Next 3 months fuck dog style,

Last 3 months do it wolf style,

sit outside the pussy and howl.

Santra
Door se dekha to santra tha

pass gaya to bhi santra tha

cheel ke dekha to bhi santra tha

kha ke dekha to bhi santra tha

wah! kya santra tha

Productivity

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

Teacher : What do you want to become????

Sam : Doctor...!!!!!

Teacher : Why????

Sam : Bcoz its the only profession where u can tell a womam to take off her clothes & ask her Husband to pay 4 it....!!!!

A prostitute's nursery rhyme:

One two lets screw,

Three four I'm a whore,

Five six suck the dick,

Seven eight ejaculate,

Nine ten fuck me again.

Ramchandra

"Ramchandra kehe gaye siya se aisa kalyug aayega, Ek dost ek taraf se SMS karega. Dusra apna paisa bachayega."

Sex karo

Sex karo daily,

Agar wo mil jaye akeli,

agar na mile akeli to pakar lo us ki saheli,

agar na mile saheli to zindabad hatheli

lekin sex karo daily.

Safed Sari

Safed sari par tum laal bhindi lagti ho,

Khuda kasam bilkool ambulance nazar aati ho,

Farak yeh hai ki woh ghayal ko lekar jati hai,

Aur tum ghayal kar jati ho

Planning a women


A Town Designer ask a town planner: What error do u think there in planning a women ?

Planner : I think the entertainment area was put too close 2 the sewarage area
everything fucked.

DIFFRENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:


AGE 20  -  DIN RAAT,

AGE 28  -  ROZ RAAT,

AGE 38  -  JUMME RAAT,

AGE 48  -  CHAND RAAT,

AGE 58  -  ONLY JAZBAAT,

AGE 68  -  GALAT BAAT....

Radha

a man jumps into his bed & starts making luv,

woman in bed says - jijaji main apki biwi nahi saali radha hoon

man: ab kahe ki RADHA jab ghus gaya AADHA!!

Sex Shop

Thank u for your recent order in our sex shop.

U asked for the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display.

Please reselect as thats the fire extinguiser!

Shadi
Tere baap ki shadi hui teri maa se,

Teri maa ki shadi hui tere baap se,

Yeh bhi koi baat hui

Ghar ki ghar me hi ho gaye

Similarity

wats da similarity b/w a lady and a chewing gum?

A: Both are sweet and tight in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.

DIFFRENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:


AGE 20  -  DIN RAAT,

AGE 28  -  ROZ RAAT,

AGE 38  -  JUMME RAAT,

AGE 48  -  CHAND RAAT,

AGE 58  -  ONLY JAZBAAT,

AGE 68  -  GALAT BAAT....

Radha

a man jumps into his bed & starts making luv,

woman in bed says - jijaji main apki biwi nahi saali radha hoon

man: ab kahe ki RADHA jab ghus gaya AADHA!!

Sex Shop

Thank u for your recent order in our sex shop.

U asked for the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display.

Please reselect as thats the fire extinguiser!

Shadi
Tere baap ki shadi hui teri maa se,

Teri maa ki shadi hui tere baap se,

Yeh bhi koi baat hui

Ghar ki ghar me hi ho gaye

Similarity

wats da similarity b/w a lady and a chewing gum?

A: Both are sweet and tight in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.

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